Bullshit Thesaurus

Civilized Alternatives for the Official Quantum Jargon

¹

I’ve worked across many different industries, and I’ve never encountered profanity as part of official jargon. Well, not in the civilian world, anyway. The U.S. Army issues you a pottymouth when you enlist. That said, Quantum Fiery Voice Olivier Ezratty is looking to replace the word “bullshit” in his encyclopedia Understanding Quantum Technologies with synonyms, and I suggested using a unique synonym for each instance. I have therefore taken it upon myself to provide a list for Mr. Ezratty, and I’m happy to share it with the community at large. We can be a more family-friendly industry, don’t you think?

Anyway, here is a list of animals you can choose from. Hopefully, I’ve got all your favorites. Then keep scrolling for my animal-specific suggestions.

• cow

• bat

• bird

• cat

• coyote

• deer

• dog

• earthworm

• elephant

• goat

• horse

• human

• insect

• monkey

• otter

• rabbit

• turkey

• NEW! wombat

• fossilized

Bull (cow)

• bovine excrement (my historical go-to)

• stercoris tauri (Latin)

• bullcrud

• bullpucky

• cow dung

• cow manure

• cow pats

• cow patties

• cow pies

Male bat (bat)

• bat guano

Cock (bird)

• bird droppings

• bird plop

Tomcat (cat)

• cat litter

Male coyote (coyote)

• coyote scat

Buck/Stag (deer)

• deer berries

Dog (dog)

• dog feces

• dog poop

• dog turds

• dog waste

n/a (earthworm)

• earthworm castings

Bull (elephant)

• elephant balls

Buck/Billy (goat)

• goat pills

Stallion (horse)

• horse buns

• road apples

Man (human)

• doo-doo

• number two

• stool

n/a (insect)

• insect frass

Male monkey (monkey)

• monkey crap

Male otter (otter)

• otter spraint

Buck (rabbit)

• rabbit pellets

Tom/Gobbler (turkey)

• turkey muck

Jack (wombat)

• wombat poo

Fossilized (all species)

• coprolite

1. Image generated by an AI model provided by Microsoft Copilot.